You Gotta Go and Love Yourself
A few days ago, I woke up not feeling quite myself. You know how there are days when you kind of nitpick everything you possibly could about yourself? Well, there I was, thinking about the usual insecurities that creep up whenever I’m not feeling so well: that I haaaaate how straight and stubborn my lashes are; how my pores are just so there sometimes; how I hate how my nose looks like; how I don’t feel like a “real person” sometimes–the list goes on.
That same night, I finally got to watch “To the Bone”, that 2017 film featuring Lily Collins. The film was not perfect–I mean, there were certain jokes that I don’t think were necessary, and some parts were just off-putting, but the intent was there, and some parts of the movie were just really good–and will make you think.
You see, even if I’m not dealing with eating disorders, and all that, I realized we all have our insecurities–but that we always have to remember that those insecurities do not, and should not define us. But of course, that does not take away the fact that they’re real, and we all have different ways of dealing with them–especially these days when it’s like, we’re all under a microscope; we’re all being scrutinized, cut open, and judged, just based on what others see. And, if we think about that, we could probably just feel worse than we already do.
So, what do I do when I feel these insecurities creeping up? Well, as hard as this is, I try to think about the things that I do love about myself: my collarbone, my shoulders, how I still kinda look younger than my age (I think I look a LOT younger than my age, but that could be a negative thing sometimes), how resilient I could be sometimes–you get the deal. Doing so reminds me of who I am, and what I could be.
Then, as vain as this sounds, I also take photos of myself (or ask my boyfriend to take photos of me lol), especially when we’re somewhere nice, or when I know I look nice. While I might also nitpick myself in those photos, somehow, they remind me that I’m still here, I gotta live–or at least, try to.
I also like to take long baths, and take time with my skincare (I mean, I do this every day/night), because then I know I’m taking care of myself. Again, it sounds vain, but I believe that you do have to allow yourself to feel good about itself, if that makes sense. Because, when you feel good, and relaxed, even for just a few minutes, I think you’d feel better about yourself. At least, I do.
Anyway, this year, I told myself that my theme (just for myself) would be to just learn to love and accept myself more; to wear more of what I like, whether on my face, or when it comes to my clothes, and just learn to feel and try again (you know, when it comes to blogging, writing, reading, etc.) And my year’s theme song would have to be Alex G‘s “Showing Up“. You can check it out below.
So, there you go. Just some rambles on a sleepy Friday. Til next time!
(no connection to the post, really. I just like this photo lol)